As a guy you may not like it, but you have to learn how to propose.

It’s just one of those girly romantic things you’ve gotta do. So: you’ve gotten over your massive case of commitment phobia and have decided to take the plunge. Your stomach is knotted by a deep sense of nervousness and your palms are sweaty from the mere thought of getting down on one knee. Upon your shoulders is the burden of the crushing expectations of your girlfriend and the entire female race. You know deep down that a boring, business-like proposal isn’t going cut the mustard and may leave your love eternally disappointed, distrustful and even turned off. You’d rather watch sports, eat potato chips and not put any time into it, but you know you’ve got to get up off your backside and come up with a truly romantic proposal. The question is, how to propose in an original way?

First of all, take a deep breath and calm down. Look around you – if all these bozos who are married went through it and came out the other end alive, so can you. In fact, you can even do a better job. How? By knowing the secret about women.

We all know that women want to be serenaded, to be whisked off by their white knight in shining armor. Women are attracted to masculine strength, but here’s the trick: they want direction. They yearn for a man with decisiveness. Women want to relax and feel free to play their role as the wild windy dancing goddess. That way they embrace the essence of feminine energetic pole, and become incredibly attractive to males. But you need to step into the full masculine energetic pole to allow them to be goddesses. They can’t be truly feminine if they can’t trust that you’ll take charge. Then they have to become more masculine themselves and take the lead, which results in a depolarization of the energy between you two. This means the sex won’t be as charged and passionate, and let’s face it, that’s a bottom line for most guys.

So, take some responsibility for this and step up to the plate. If you want to know how to propose, think about how to excite her. Tell your woman, “You’ve got 30 minutes to pack your bags and get ready. Then I’m taking you on a date/vacation to a beautiful secret location. Everything’s taken care of.” The thrill of the secret, of romance, and of a strong decisive man is irresistible to most women. Her heart will be beating in rapid excitement. If you want a passionate relationship with hot sex, make it happen.

Next, ensure you’ve matched the place to her character. Does she like outdoors? If so, is she more of a beach, forest, mountain or jungle girl? What’s her best time of day? Most women love sunset proposals, but a warm snuggle after sleeping in also works. What are her favorite places? Theatres, restaurants, clubs, bars? Choose a place where you met, or dated frequently, that has significance. If it’s a restaurant, choose a place serving her favorite cuisine. Surprise her – have her favorite dessert or type of cake preordered, embossed with the writing, “Will You Marry Me?” Get that question in somewhere, whether it’s a big banner hung somewhere, or if it’s etched into a rock or tree, or if it’s a treasure hunt with each word hidden in a different place.

Lastly, don’t wear yourself out by trying to get the perfect ring. Get a placeholder instead – for $100 or $200 – and then she can choose or even design her own perfect ring. Tell her in your own special way how much you love her as you pop the question – and getting down on one knee always helps add chivalry and romance to the moment.

Remember, it’s a lot of effort planning it, but it’s worth it. You only have to go through it once, and your fiancée will be eternally grateful for the effort you put in. Finally, remember that while you put in all the effort for the proposal, she’ll take care of the wedding, so it all balances out in the end.