Before the Bridezilla claws come out, the bride and groom must discuss some important, yet often touchy, topics. For example, both must be firm in what kind of wedding they want and accept suggestions with grace, but don’t feel obligated to follow them. Be specific on the invitations. No kids welcome? Make it clear to parents to leave the little ones at home. Gay couples face a special decision on whether to invite family members outwardly opposed to the marriage or union. Gays should take the high road and invite close family; if someone doesn’t want to come, at least the offer was made. How about requests for cash over gifts? This is still a stickler, but let family and close friends know so that if someone asks them about it, they will express the couple’s wishes. How about providing a ‘Honeymoon Registry’ which usually ends up with more cash than blenders? Destination weddings are becoming common, but it’s not always possible for everyone to pay their travel & lodging costs at the final destination. If the wedding is being privately hosted, it’s o.k. for the hosts to pay travel costs of the attendants, with the bride and groom handling their own costs. Oh yes…what about the problem guest who shows up loud and drunk at every wedding? Be firm; either Uncle Shmizzle behaves or he’s out of the party. It’s YOUR wedding, not his time to let lose with his world-famous belly dance. Finally, brides know what dress you want and stick to it, even if Mom offers to pay for it but gags when she sees it. Politely reminder her that times (and dress fashions) have changed and ask her to respect your decision. As for attendants, this isn’t a Royal Family coronation; keep the numbers low and reasonable. There are plenty of other tasks for people to do other than march in the procession.

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8 wedding etiquette dilemmas solved – CNN.com